Christmas letter 2009

Merry Christmas everyone!

It's been a year of international travel for the Ethington family. Let's see there was the trip to Figi last March followed by the ski vacation to San Moritz the following month . . . Yeah right! Don't we wish? We did go to Williamsburg though. Twice.

Joel is a big second grader now and loves math. Bored with addition and subtraction he moved himself onto multiplication and fractions. In fact to motivate Joel to less enticing school work his teacher bribes him with promises of math games on the computer. He continues to enjoy soccer as long as he can be the goalie. If he can't be goalie he'd rather be the game's commentator noting the plays as they progress.

Earlier this year Joel found his personal nirvana -- The Game Show Network. All game shows all the time. What could be better? Mom and dad were fine with this until noticing the racy questions from the Newlywed Game. We had to put the kibosh on GSN (at least when aforementioned show was on). He turns eight on the first of January and we can't believe we've been blessed with his presence for eight years already. Time flies by too fast.

Eli is four and loves preschool and cooking. He's often heard saying, "Mommy can we make a recipe?", and is upset if he sees mommy cooking without telling him first. His favorite thing to make is mini banana muffins.

He enjoys "teaching" Cara wrong information too. Telling her blue is red, A is B and so on and then laughing hysterically when she repeats his misinformation. His Reign of Terror does seem to be waning though. But don't get on his bad side, you will pay for your misdeeds. Fortunately for him his tyrannical personality is wrapped up in a very cute package. He got the looks in the family.

Cara continues to come into her own. She's quite the jabberer and definitely has strong opinions. When I tried to sing her Barney's "I Love You" song the other day, she stomped her foot and said, "No Mommy I don't like that show!" Her favorite things are books, dancing, Dora and duck, duck, goose. A little actress she loves to pretend she is very mad or very sad to ensure Mommy and Daddy's rapt attention. She recently turned two this past month and we're so grateful to have her in our family.

From my perspective this is how Kelly's year has gone. Really busy working all the time for awhile, then a lull where he's not so busy, followed by a time period where he's super busy working 24/7. We're currently in the midst of the latter period now because Kelly is working on the migration which has nothing to do with birds flying south for the winter. Despite how busy he is, he always miraculously finds a lot of quality time for me and the kids. We vote him number one husband and daddy.

I'm mostly busy taking care of the kids, cooking (sometimes) and trying to keep a clear path through the house. I would like to say I've written the great American novel or accomplished something equally great in my free time. But so far that hasn't happened. There's always next year though. Stay tuned.

We genuinely hope you're enjoying a wonderful Christmas season and that you and your families are healthy and happy. We love hearing from you all, so please keep in touch!

Warmest wishes,

Kelly, Amy, Joel, Eli and Cara Ethington

About 5pm tonight I put my shoes and jacket on to go pick up some FC diapers across Herndon Parkway. I wanted to go sans children, but of course Eli piped up, "Mommy, I wanna come!"

"Oh Eli," I moaned, "Can't you just stay at home? I'll only be gone for a minute."

"Mommy, I love you. That's why I like to go places with you."

Needless to say he went.

"It's okay to make a mistake"

A week or so ago Joel and I were studying for his geography test. He took a practice test and concluded that the Arctic Ocean was near Antartica because the two words sounded so similar. When I told him that despite his good reasoning the Arctic Ocean was near the North Pole he flipped out because he had made a mistake. I told him it was okay to make mistakes but he was inconsolable. I felt so bad. Finally I said a little prayer outloud asking Heavenly Father to help Joel know it was okay to make mistakes. After hearing that he started to calm down and was okay. Then a couple of days ago when I was making sugar cookies, I flipped out a little myself when all of the cats' heads kept falling off. "Mom," I hear from a little voice in the living room, "It's okay to make mistakes." Such a full circle moment, and I know he gets it. He doesn't have to be perfect.

Today when I got up Joel had three shirts on. I actually thought it was two and I asked him to take one off. When he did I noticed there were still two more. When I asked him why he put three shirts on he said, "Because yesterday was the 30th day of school and 30 is three tens." I love that boy.

"Pumpkin Mad!"

Cara and I were walking around our little block and she noticed a neighbor's jack-o-lanterns. She walked up to admire them and turned around and said, "Pumpkin happy!" in her joyful, baby voice. Then she looked at another one and said, "Pumpkin mad!" and put on her own little angry face. She continued with the happy jack-o-lantern, "Pumpkin smiling! Pumpkin laughing!" So so adorable!

We just delivered some sugar cookies to LDS neighbors that moved in more than a month ago. After the delivery Joel and Eli wanted to climb on top of the car. One of the many every day objects that in their minds is really a jungle gym. When Cara saw them of course she wanted to climb up too and was mad when I wouldn't let her. She walked further down the sidewalk in front of the neighbor's mini cooper, "I want up car!" she said pointing to the mini cooper. I guess she figured it was just her size.

We made the sugar cookies from Eli's recipe book that he got for his birthday. They were so good even tho we had to substitute half of the butter with shortening since we didn't have enough butter, and Joel and Eli were so cute making them. It always makes my heart warm to see Joel having a good time doing something like that. Because there were the years when it was torture for him to participate in anything like that because he only wanted to draw circles and look at letters and numbers.

Instead of continuously flouring the rolling pin (spaghetti sauce can :o) and the cookie dough the recipe said to just put the dough between a folded sheet of parchment baking paper (which miraculously we had) and roll on top of it. I loved it. It was so much easier and so much CLEANER. It's definitely the way I will always roll out sugar cookies, pie crust or whatever from now on.

Traffic Ticket Yikes!

Eli's preschool starts at 12:35 pm. Two days ago we left at 12:32. Trying to bust a move I sped up to hit the yellow light. It may have been red by the time I got there but I was going too fast to brake. As soon as I turned the corner I noticed flashing lights in my rear view mirror. Yikes! A cop is pulling me over. Ugh, the only other time I got a ticket was in 1996. (Notwithstanding I rear ended someone that same year.) Hee! Hee!

So the cop gave me a ticket and Eli says, "Mommy when Daddy runs red lights the police never catch him cause he goes super fast!"

Eli calls pinatas funatas which I think is so cute.

Joel had soccer after school today for the first time this season. When I asked him if he had fun, he said, "Super fun fun fun!" and he was so happy which made me feel wonderful and made the wrangling of Eli and Cara (especially Cara) throughout the hour of soccer so worth it!

Joel got off the bus a couple of days ago and said, "Mom, if you get an email from Mrs. Larson, just delete it, don't open it." In his little mind that issue was all cleared up. Of course I immediately went to check my email and there it was -- the email from Joel's teacher Mrs. Larson. It said Joel had misbehaved that day and that he ran away from her when she tried to talk to him about it. He also refused to take his behavior chart home.

When I confronted Joel about it, he was unhappy. He had a pretty big breakdown and I felt so bad for him. I know what teachers consider misbehavior feels just like having a good 'ole time to Joel and he doesn't understand why his behavior is inappropriate.

But since that day, he hasn't had any problems with school. Anyway mostly I thought it was hilarious that he just thought he could tell me to delete the email and that would be that. Especially from the boy whose teeth I have to pull to find out about anything that went on at school that day. Love that kid~

I'm so Happy to See You!

Cara actually ate her dinner tonight. Hallelujah! Lately all she wants is her bottle and she refuses anything else. It's been stressing me out.

She was really cute this morning. I was sitting on the couch and she ran up and hugged me and said, "I'm so happy to see you!" Adorable. I realized she got that from me as I often say that to her.

Several hours later when I was unsuccessfully trying to get her to eat lunch I pointed out that she had a turtle on her shirt. She pulled it up to look and said to it, "I'm so happy to see you!" Even more adorable.

Julie gave Eli a cookbook for his birthday and every day he begs and whines incessantly that he wants to make a recipe. It's actually fun to cook with him though since he really gets into it. Today we made mini banana muffins for the second time. Yummy! We've also made the homemade tomato sauce (straight from fresh tomatoes), corn quesadillas, chicken boats, colored meringues, chicken satay and the chicken dippers. The great thing about it is Eli (also a picky eater) will eat anything that he helps make. He's really expanding his palate which is great.

Joel has come home happy every day from school so far. So much different from last year. And I haven't received any phone calls or emails from the school. Also so different from last year. He's not riding the regular bus again which really started and ended his day on a bad foot last year.

Lately I am so ready to get out of my townhome. I really want my kids to have a backyard. But our house has depreciated so much since we bought it, even tho we put a huge chunk down. I knew it could depreciate, but I never anticipated it to go this far. Our first townhome which is 1000 squre feet smaller and not as nice is actually worth more currently. Makes me sick. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.

A week or so ago I hear Cara in the other room saying "Eyes, two three two; hands, two three two; ears, two three two. She was pointing out her baby doll's body parts and counting them. Baby speak -- so adorable.

This morning I asked Joel and Eli how I was I so lucky to get the two best boys in the world in my family. "That's easy," Eli said, "We came from heaven."

Yesterday Kelly, Joel, Eli and Kelly's dad and Melissa went to the Maryland Science Center. They were sitting in the planetarium and above them flashed an image of all the stars (is that possible?) in the Milky Way Galaxy. Kelly's dad heard Joel say under his breath, "Wow, I had no idea."

Cara is definitely coming into her own now and the terrible two's are starting early. She knows what she wants and she wants IT NOW and is very vocal about her opinion.

Kelly turned on the Wii yesterday so Joel and Eli could burn off some energy doing the free run. Cara joined in and kept saying, "I running too! I running too!" She was very proud of herself.

Whenever she sees a picture of our family she correctly points out "Daddy, Mommy, Joel, Ili (her pronunciation), and when we point to her and say "Who's that?" She says, "Baby."

Right now she's whining and trying to climb up me and shrieking, "I want uuuppppp!"

Eli had a great birthday yesterday and got his own kitchen and cookbook, baby kitties (pretend) and more.

Is there anything else I need to know about Joel?

Yesterday was Joel's first say of Soaring over Seven Camp. After we'd signed in, his teacher asked me if there was anything else she needed to know about Joel. I told her no, but Joel quickly piped up, "My name is Joel, my favorite color is green, I was born in 2002, I'm seven years old, I'm going to be baptized with Jesus."

How adorable was that! Of course I started to cry. Something about this camp always has me in tears.

Sponge Bob

This past spring I tried without success to get Joel to wear a jacket on the cooler days. Through Freecycle I'd gotten a Sponge Bob Square Pants windbreaker and I thought he would LOVE it.

ME: Joel, don't you want to wear your jacket? It's so cool, it's got Sponge Bob on it.

JOEL: No Mom! I like to watch Sponge Bob not wear Sponge Bob!

That's my Girl

Straw Sharing

Morning Munchkins

Look! A Girlfriend!

A little while back Eli and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood. We saw two male (red) cardinals fighting. Shortly thereafter we saw a red cardinal with a brown cardinal and I explained that the brown cardinal was the red cardinal's girlfriend and that the cardinals we saw fighting earlier were probably fighting over her. Eli didn't appear to be listening to my bird stories but we continued our walk. About five to ten minutes later as we're sauntering along we see a robin flying into a tree and Eli shouts, "Look mom, a girlfriend!"

Eli is a major high maintenance child. He wants my attention ALL OF THE TIME and if he isn't demanding my attention it's usually a bad sign. Most often I'll find him hiding in a corner pooping in his underwear.

He's a major drama queen. If the slightest possible injury occurs he howls like the world is coming to an end. People at playdates have responded to blood curdling yells thinking they're about to make a trip to the emergency room only to find out Eli had a slight bump into a mattress. He's exhausting.

Still he's at a very cute stage where he's figuring out his world. His little mind is categorizing, noting rules for life and their exceptions. I can see the wheels turning in his brain. The other day Eli and I were talking about how his last name is Ethington. For eons he has vehemently denied (see above paragraph) that he has any other name than his first. But he's finally come around to owning the idea of a surname. We were talking about how everybody's last name in our family is the same. I asked him what Laurie's last name was. He didn't know so I told him it was Mason. He then correctly guessed that Grandpa and Grandma's last name was Mason too.
--- Wheels begin to turn in the brain --- and he pipes up, "But what's Grandma Cheryl's last name?" I thought it was a great question since he never sees her and certainly could not pick her out of a crowd.

Cara is ADORABLE as ever. Her spoken repertoire continues to increase. Lately when she's proud of herself she'll clap and say "Good job!" She's also been demanding "Sit down" to me when she wants me to play with her on the floor or read a book. Yesterday on Ni Hao Kailan the narrator asked if Kailan was happy or sad, I hear this little voice belt out "Sad!" And she was right. She's precious.

Also, yesterday, for the first time ever, she slept in her crib without being in her car seat. That seat is getting extra nasty-licious and she is 18 months old, so I finally bit the bullet and got rid of it. She had a harder time falling asleep, but once she did, she slept just as well.

Joel's my little protector. Yesterday we were watching Finding Nemo for the upteenth time this week and Joel made sure to cover my eyes during all the scary parts. If all's not right in Mama's world, all's not right in Joel's world either. He's been taking swimming lessons and doing so great. He so proud of just jumping into the pool like all the other kids.

I have pink eye. Joel had it, then a couple weeks later Eli got it. We didn't get a new presciption just gave Eli Joel's remaining. Now I got the infected conjuctiva and the antibiotic eyedrops are about gone. Hopefully it'll go away without my having to go to the doctor.

Next week Joel starts Soaring Over Seven Camp. The camp is run by the McLean Bible Church and it's designed for special needs kids and its affordable. Sounds like it's right up Joel's alley. They have karaoke, moonbounces, swimming, computer games. He's going to be in seventh heaven. Usually I sign him up for camps that'll push him and his boundaries. This year I just want it to be fun. Joel's deserves it. If Joel does get upset they have a quiet room with dim lights and blankets and pillows -- perfect for my sweet Joel.

Easter!


My kids looked so cute on Easter! It was a symphony of stripes and seersucker in a baby blue and white palet. My mom gave me Joel's clothes. I got Cara's smocked dress from the Gifts of the Heart exchange our stake does. Eli already had his pants and I got his blazer off of ebay. So all was cheap, but they looked like a million bucks. They were coordinated nicely but weren't too matchy matchy. We even almost made it to church on time, almost. 8:30 am is just a little too early to have us all there and looking presentable.

Best of all we have our Easter pics this year. Last year Kelly drove home during the middle of church with our camera on top of the car and it was never to be seen again, even though we looked and looked . . .

What's new with us? Not much. Yesterday I got Joel a bunch of Sponge Bob Square Pants books from the library and he was so excited, especially to have his favorite Alanits Squarepantis. Man I know so much more about Sponge Bob than I ever wanted to (never had a desire to know anything), or thought I would. I know all the minor characters and secondary subplots. Oh the things my brain is filled with these days!

Eli and I were watching one of those birthing shows yesterday where we watched a baby making it's entrance into the world. I could tell he was kind of freaked out, so I kept telling him that the baby was just perfect and healthy and that's how baby's were supposed to come into the world. He looked relieved and said, "but he has tomato sauce all over him!"

Cara has discoved the playset slide and is in ectasy every time she goes down. As soon as she hits the ground, she's saying "Up, uppp, upppppp!" And when I pick her up to finally go into the house all &*^%*&@# breaks loose. I know she can't fathom why we would ever quit that activity to go into the boring house. Because mommy's arms get tired of lifting her up, uppp, upppppp, that's why.

Kelly hasn't been working so much this week. He finished a big project and has been coming home at a half-decent hour, hooray! Yesterday he took Joel and Eli to the rock wall at Claude Moore. Joel made it half the way up and Eli was content to be Daddy and Joel's cheerleader.

Eli coming in from the snow and candy corn Joel

Cute Cara!

Obedience?

I try (feebly) to curb Joel's tv watching and computer game playing. Today after school and soccer I let him come home and watch an hour of tv. Then he had to turn it off. A few minutes after the tv was off I could hear Joel behind me opening the door to the basement headed toward the computer, so I told him in no uncertain terms that there was no computer right now. Probably less than ten seconds later I hear the basement door creaking open again. "Joel," I said, "You have to be obedient." His reply "obedient smobedient!" I loved it. He used his own language to mirror in different words a phrase that he has heard others use and he did it correctly. Yea Joel! Of course I won't be so happy if I hear my other children respond that way in a similar situation.

Autism Hurts

Autism hurts. It hurts when people don't understand. It hurts when parents you once thought were allies become opponents. It hurts when you feel alone. It hurts when you feel misunderstood. It hurts to feel isolated. It hurts to feel different. It hurts to be judged. It hurts to worry about the future. It hurts.

Snow!

We had a bit of snowfall today that stuck around for enough time to play. I asked Joel and Eli if they wanted to go outside and play, Eli said yes, but Joel said, "No, I'd rather stay inside where it's warm." Eli and I headed out and Eli had a grand time just going around the block. He loved that his shoes made Diego and Baby Jaquar prints in the snow. I figured out that he's so into the footprints because we've been reading "The Snowy Day" book by Ezra Jack Keats.

The snow was coming down in powdery little flakes and Joel loves to catch that type of snow on his tongue, so we headed back in to get him.

Laurie told me that as soon as Eli and I had gone outside, Joel climbed onto the counter and started rummaging around in the cupboards. Laurie asked him what he was doing and he said that we was going to make hot chocolate for mommy and Eli. So cute!!

Anyway we started bundling up Joel and Laurie decided she would get Cara's snowsuit on, and that they would come out too.

I managed to snag some snowpants for Joel and Eli last year off of freecycle, so they were extra warm.

They had so much fun throwing snowballs and making snow angels and just running around. It wasn't much snow, but they really made the most of it.

This past Christmas I realized I needed to make a stocking for Cara. My mom had given me my childhood stocking which was still in good shape, so I ripped the Amy off of it and put Cara's name on. When I went to hang the stockings up, I realized I had never made one for Eli either, I thought I had. So I told Eli, who can't read, that Daddy's stocking was his -- which he thought was great since Daddy's stocking is the biggest. I also hung up a cheapie stocking that we had used last year that had Eli's name in black marker on the back.

Well one day when Eli was playing with the stockings he noticed that the cheapie red one had his name on the back of it(he can read his own name), and he asked Daddy if that was his. Kelly said yes and Eli protested, "But it don't got no stuff on it!"