The Dau of Eli

TODAY

Eli: "Mommy what if there was a boy and he needed to go potty, and he pointed his penis straight up and the pee pee went in his mouth?" (said with manic giddiness, wonder and awe for his own supposition)

Me: "That would be disgusting."

Eli: "Yeah cuz nobody likes to drink their own pee, not even Jesus."

Yeah.

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Eli: "Mommy, how old is Christopher Columbus?"

Me: "He's dead, but he lived about five or six hundred years ago."

Eli: "Yeah, but how OLD is he?"

Me: "He's dead . . . yada yada yada"

Eli: "Oh, you don't have birthdays in heaven?"

Me: "No."

Eli: "Oh, oh cuz you can't eat in heaven and on your birthday you have to eat cake or cupcakes, so you can't have birthdays in heaven."

Yeah.