I See the Connection!

Yesterday we went out to my parents' house. They had come back from Albany for the weekend to transfer some furniture here. Andrew came with them. He flew out a few weeks ago from Phoenix to look for work. He couldn't find any kind of job in Phoenix and he was willing to do about anything. I guess the recession has really hit hard there.

We hadn't seen Andrew for three years and he's never met Cara. While we were outside playing on the playset Joel looked from Andrew to me and back again and said, "Yeah I can see the connection." I love it that he was thinking about Andrew and I being siblings and looking for similarities.

Eli was very excited to go and see the pumpkin patch that he had helped Grandpa plant. My parents had already brought us several pumpkins where they had scratched our names into while they were growing. We loaded up several more and now we have our own little pumpkin patch in the front yard.

One of my goals at the beginning of the school year was to revamp our filing system. I finally did it last week. While doing so I came across all of Joel's preschool evaluations and day to day notes from his preschool teachers and the people who worked with him from Early Intervention. It made me realize that I truly have had a village helping me to raise my Joel and I felt really grateful for all of the people who have helped, and loved and cared about Joel.

It was a trip down memory lane to read about his milestones and behaviors and how far we have come. One tender memory was when he was learning sign language. He learned how to sign the word hurt and would use it appropriately when he got an "owie". He would also use it when a toy or other beloved object got taken away from him. I thought it was really sweet that he immediately applied the word to not only physical pain but also when his feelings were ingured.

Reading about Joel helped to stimulate some memories about Eli's babyhood as well. When he was about 10 months old he would sign the word milk by pumping and squeezing his little fist when he wanted to nurse. But he would also make the same sign when he just wanted loves and cuddles from Mommy. Obviously he felt such comfort and security when he was nursing that he associated with work milk with Mommy snuggles. Sweet memories . . .

Things the Kids Say

Joel and I were watching Project Runway and Joel was doing his usual scene by scene commentary, i.e. "I love the pink and the brown together, looks fabulous. That is so sexy." (He has no idea what he is really saying). Anyway the designers were surprised and annoyed about who was chosen winner and one of them said, "How could he win? What bleeping show is this anyway?" Joel responds, "Project Runway you idiot!" That made me laugh. He's so literal and can't imagine that one of the designers is so ignorant of the show she's starring in.

My mom was in the car with Kelly and the kids a little while back and Cara was singing. "Cara you have really good pitch for such a little girl," my mom commented. Enraged, Cara screamed back, "I NOT A LITTLE GIRL, I BIG!" Geez some people just don't know how to accept a compliment.

Cara was eating something the other day and says, "Umm, mommy this is really nummy!" Wanting to gobble on her little cheeks I responded, "You know who else is really nummy?" Before I even finished the sentence she shrieked, "NO! I not dessert!"

While driving to the playground today the kids and I noticed several American flags, one of them was at half staff. I explained to the kids that the flag was only halfway up the pole in remembrance of the innocent people who were killed on Septermber 11th (today) and Eli responds, "Oh the flag is lower because there is less people in the world now?" Uh, yeah kid, kinda.

Joel and Eli just completed their first week of school. Eli's first week of Kindergarten and things seem to be going well. I was pleased with both of their teachers and hope the year continues with that sentiment.

It's A LOT quieter at home. Eli's gone. Nuff said.

Words from Eli and my Back

Eli tonight, "Mommy I always hug you really tight cause I love you so much!"

Eli a few days ago, "Mommy, does our house have a barcode at the bottom of it?"

A few days ago I hurt my lower back. Doing what I know not. I buckled walking in the upstairs hallway. At first I thought it was just going to be a quick pain and be gone. Not so much. It's been two or three days of me sitting and lying around and my kids wathching TV 24/7. Poor Kelly, it's one of his busiest weeks of work and he's having to do everything. We've had take out pizza three times this week. The thing that's bugging me is that the house doesn't seem to look any worse than when I'm up and going. What do I do all day anyway?

Feeling kinda sad lately too. Heard somebody at play group talking about a play date they'd scheduled with another family in the ward. They both have boys that are 8 and 5, so they're getting them together. Of course my boys are those ages and we don't get invited to those things. That same mom said to me about four year ago, "Well Joel doesn't play with other kids, does he?" I don't remember how I answered, but I wanted to say, "We'll it doesn't come naturally to him, but you can still include him!" Ugh.

I'm so Talented!

Cara turns to me tonight and says, "I'm so talented!" She definitely thinks she's the cat's choicest meow, and I love it. I think everyone needs that overdeveloped sense of ego to make up for the knocks you're gonna get from the world once school starts and forever after.

I tried to cut the boys' hair the other night which a new (whatdaya call those things that are electric and have the graduated tips you attach to achieve different hair lengths?). Anyway instead of applying my usual method I followed the instructions and really screwed up Joel's hair. I tried to clean it up with scissors and convinced myself that it looked okay. Joel looked at himself in the mirror and said, "I look goooooood!" Later I asked Kelly what he thought of Joel's haircut and he said something like, "It's interesting." I asked him if it really looked that bad. "Uh, yeah." After hearing our conversation Joel again looked at himself in the mirror and yelled, "I look like a freak!" Kelly ended up giving Joel a full buzz cut at my request.

You Look Pretty Too

My parents went to church with us on Father's Day so they could hear the kids sing. My mom came upstairs after she got ready and told Cara that she looked pretty in her dress. "You look pretty too Grandma," Cara told her.

Joel's at Soaring Over Seven camp again this summer. Last week was his first week and they went on field trips every day but Monday; Sports Bounce, C & O Canal ride, where Joel got to be the mule and respond to Gee and Haw commands and the like. He got a kick out of that. Also to Uplands? water park and the swimming pool. My dad went with Kelly and the kids the first day to drop Joel off. Joel saw Beth, one of his teachers from last year, and got very excited and also officially intoduced her to my dad. My dad got a kick out of that.

Joel's current favorite things to say to me are, "Would you snap out of it?" He says this when I question him about something he doesn't want to talk about. Also "Nut up!" This is his substitute for shut up. I'm going to have to put the kibosh on that one.

Joel and Kelly are currently watching America's Funniest Home Videos. Joel loves the slap-sticky stuff and goes into gales and gales of laughter. A fantastic sound!

Eli tells me yesterday, "Look Mommy there's something behind the red chair." Scared I take a look and see EEK a German cockroach whist Eli cajoles, "C'mon little guy, commere." Squash! Little guy is dead. Mommy killed him.

Vile, disgusting, abominable. There is NOTHING I hate worse than cockroaches, especially German cockroaches. One female German cockroach can have up to 40,000 babies a year. Must have come from the overloaded adjacent townhouse teeming with newbies from south of the border. The people are gone now, the roaches must be migrating to find new food sources. I will say it again, I AM SO READY TO BE OUT OF THIS TOWNHOUSE and into a detached home. I want some distance from my neighbors.

My current plan is to get this place ready throughout the year, sell next summer and move to Winchester where I can buy a nice house for what I can sell this puppy for. After August Kelly should be able to work from home 100% so we won't be chained to this area. My only concern is the school system in Winchester. Fairfax county schools are so highly rated and I feel like the special ed is above average. Don't know how spec ed will be further out. Of course we'll pray about it. I've learned the hard way to not push my own agenda too much.

The Time Before the Apple

For a while now I've been thinking about how we're living in "the time before the apple." Joel has no idea that he's considered different than any other kid. I don't think he's even aware of the word autism. Eli mostly just wants to do all the things his big brother does. He doesn't realize Joel is loosely classified as someone with pervasive developmental disorder (what a horrible title and misnomer all in one).

I wonder how long this innocence will last? I wish neither Joel, Eli nor Cara ever had to hear the phrase autistic spectrum disorder. Why can't Joel just be Joel and people accept him for him without explanation. Ever since I realized Joel's brain was wired a bit differently than most I've mentally rebelled against the notion that he has to change to fit in better. Why can't he just be himself and other people just deal with it?

I know we don't live in a perfect world and there will continue to be many uphill battles for my Joel and his difficulties with social interaction, language and appropriate behavior will probably continue throughout his life.

I don't look forward to that day of self realization for Joel or Eli. It's something we all have to go through. Coming to terms with being different and our individual weaknesses and shortcomings. Still for those among us who deviation from the mean is far greater than the standard its a significantly harder row to hoe.

I Felt Lovely

Yesterday Kelly and I took the kids to the temple to walk around the grounds. Joel spider walked up the columns in front and all the kids climbed up the grated temple front doors. Any place is a jungle gym!

After leaving our mark on the grounds we headed to the visitor's center. One of the sister missionaries turned on the sound by the Christus statue. "Jesus talking!" Cara very excitedly pointed out to the rest of us. The sister missionary asked Joel if he'd written down how he felt after he was baptized. "No," Joel said, "But as a matter of fact I felt lovely."

Is that kid the best or what?

On the way to the temple Eli asked me if I had any more babies in my tummy. He let me know that he wanted another Cara. I decided not to attempt explaining that Kelly has had a vasectomy. I feel kind of bad that we're not having another baby for Eli's sake because at his age he would really get into feeling a growing baby in mommy's expanding tummy and be very excited at the birth of a new little one. He was a little too young when I was pregnant with Cara to appreciate the whole experience.

That having been said, there are a myriad of reasons we're not having another baby with the vasectomy being the least of them.

Cara's busy right now playing with her "Blue's" i.e. two Blue figurines and one Magenta. I LOVE to watch her play.

"Going to school Blue?"
"I wanna go too."
"Let's go to dancing class!"
"I have dancing class on Friday"

All said in that two year old girl voice so full of sweetness, wonder, pink rainbows and innocence. So yummy. It's beyond adorably adorable and I appreciate it all the more because I know what it's like to have a child that was unable to pretend play. And that ability is connected to so many abilities that we need later in life.